This two month Road Trip to video interview people making a difference held surprises for not only me but family members as well. I learned that my daughter, Andrea, thought I would last six weeks; Amy gave me until I reached the Florida border; and Allison hoped that I would head home after one night on my own. A couple of my sons in law also wondered/worried about me on this trip. Mark offered to fly me home from wherever I was and to drive the car home himself. John, on the other hand, showed his concern by telling me that as soon as I left he was sending out a “Silver Alert”—something done when demented oldsters drive off in their cars on the highway.
The first surprise for me happened on April 12th, the day before I left. I was planning on staying the night in Tallahassee before arriving for interview with artist Dulaney Martin in New Orleans the next day. However, when I checked on Yelp! for reasonably priced motels, the reviews included” room next door was robbed at gunpoint”,” car-jacking in the parking lot”, “stains on the sheets” and “gross”. So I booked at Super 8 Motel in Mobile, AL. Fortunately, I upped my budget a bit and felt safe wherever I stayed on the rest of the trip.
There was another sweet surprise by one of my hosts on the trip. A brother duo hosted me and one of them, whom I shall call “Tom”, was in his mid-forties and has Asperger’s .Usually I was gone by early morning until around 9 pm each evening except for one when I came “home” around 4 pm to video interview the older brother. As soon as the video was completed, that brother dashed out the door for something or other and when he came home, he focused only on his computer.
Tom, on the other hand, came over to me after the interview, when I was uploading it to my computer, to ask if I’d like a glass of water. After retrieving the water for me, he wanted to know if I’d like to watch the news on TV. I was a bit surprised by his thoughtful and solicitous behavior and recognized his reaching out to me so said “yes”. While watching the TV, he told me he had Asperger’s and was a bit delighted to hear that my husband, who died last year, also had had it. Tom then demonstrated his ability to name all the US Presidents in alphabetical order and to tell on what day of the week in 1964 May 18th fell. He then asked if my husband could do that. I told him “no” but his area of expertise was science and math.
Tom then asked with pride: “Have you noticed that I have looked right into your eyes this whole conversation?” I said: “Yes, and I am impressed with your ability to do that. My husband also was uncomfortable in social situations and learned to mimic how most people behave by observing them as he grew up.” Tom: “I do that, too”. Then, he told me that I could keep watching the news while he went upstairs to shower and change as he had been working in the yard that afternoon. I may or may not have been accurate but I took that statement as an indication that he would like to engage me more afterwards.
Coming back into the room, Tom asked if I’d like to watch a movie on TV. We decided to watch “Barefoot Contessa” with Ava Gardner—Tom likes old classics. It was a very long movie. The ending—spoiler alert—has Ava on her wedding night being told by the love of her life that he basically could not have sex with her because his genitals were apparently blown off in the war—in not exactly those words. Tom turned to me—oh, oh—and asked, “What does that mean?” As I sorted through my mind for an honest and delicate answer, he asked: “Does that mean they won’t have intimacy?” Feeling a sense of relief, I said: “Yes” and he turned back to the movie. However, I was still into the moment on screen and asked him with some irritation in my voice: “But, don’t you think he should not have waited until their wedding night to tell her?” He said with feeling: “Yes” and we went back to watching the screen. Tom, a delightfully sweet and engaging host whom I shall not forget.
Another surprise of the trip was my own homesickness. I figured that I would miss family and friends but I also missed my own home. I would imagine myself awakening in the morning, heading to the gym and then returning to sip a cup of coffee with my New York Times while enjoying the view of the Tampa Bay. I just did not think of myself as someone that attached to sense of place.
Without a doubt, a wonderful surprise was the warmth, openness and generosity of my hosts and hostesses on the trip despite the fact that many of them only knew me through a mutual friend. Everyone let me intrude into their lives and homes and made me feel that they were happy to have me. I loved the way they shared stories of their lives with me, introduced me to what they enjoyed about their hometowns and even cooked delicious meals for me. I am eternally grateful to: Elizabeth Candelario in New Orleans; Ruth and Jim Gaulke in Denver; Joe and Jo Anne Fanganello in Denver; Dave and Barbara St. Andre in Longmont CO; Ken and Cathy Brown in Houston; Sandy Doughty in Santa Fe NM; Deb Wilson and Terry Strasiscar in Phoenix; Ellen Brown in Santa Clarita, CA; Heather and Jim Carver in Portland OR; Kat Gjovik in Bainbridge Island, WA; Marc and Christine LoParco in Missoula MT; Roberta Fernandez in Minneapolis; Sue & George Passias and Linda Osborn in Chicago; Stephen Beckett and his wife in Portland ME; Tracy Costello in Gloucester MA; Peggy and Kevin Costello in Sea Cliff, NY; Mel and Rose Hoover in Charleston WV; and Allison and Bob Kirby in North Augusta SC.
I may not have been exactly surprised by the beauty and diversity of the terrain as I traveled across the county but I am and was deeply appreciative of it. The open space and wide blue sky in Kansas; the yellow and purple wild flowers of Texas; the wind turbine farms in South Dakota; the majestic mountains of Washington; the blues, greens and lavender of the Mesas; the ancient and huge red rocks of Wyoming; the waterfront in Bainbridge Island WA; the frozen lakes in Yellowstone Park; the old mountain towns of Colorado; the coast of Lake Erie; the vivid blue ocean of Gloucester MA; the tree canopies of Sea Cliff; the mountains of West Virginia and North Carolina. Ah, Pete Seeger’s singing the uplifting “This Land is Your Land; This Land is My Land” kept coming to mind. There were also a few times when weariness crept in and Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” was the song I could not get out of my head.
Much to the surprise of myself and others, I not only lasted the whole trip, I thoroughly enjoyed 90% of it. The other ten percent that I give to the car calamities and technology errors that occurred surprised us as well just because I managed to get them fixed and to keep going. My surprise about that also was due to the fact that whenever something went wrong, the right person or place just happened to come along to fix things. I was definitely in the flow on this Road Trip.